Self Portrait Friday: Inner Workings

I think I may miss almost all of October this year. At least it feels like that…

It feels like I have been spending too much time doing things with deadlines hanging over me.

It's like being trapped, somewhat… 

It's the bed I've made for myself I guess…

It's kinda rainy and cool outside - too overcast for my taste…

And in the last few weeks I feel like I'm being pulled in many directions, and I'm about to hit a wall...

I don't know what is going on right now in my family with our blood (me, my dad, my grandma), but I'm not too thrilled about it. I hope it's all just the normal: hey, you got to eat better and exercise type stuff...

I've been skirting around keeping track of what I have been eating with Weight Watchers, and have decided that this IS the week that I have to get back onto it. Seriously - tracking points makes you really look at what you are shoving down the pie hole. And it's time to look at that again and get back to it.

My triglycerides are high. So I am cutting out all the snacking on sugary and carb snacks and fitting in more veggies and fruits. I am drinking more tea than coffee this week and loading up on the water like normal. Also switching some medicines to lower the estrogen I am receiving to see if that also can help lower my numbers some.

It's funny how before I wanted to lose some weight in order to feel better about myself and feel comfortable in my clothes. And now that I have kids, it is more of a focus on what is going on metabolically and how I can better take care of myself in order to be around for as long as possible for my little ones and for my husband.

I look at my dad and my grandma - who both have blood clot issues in the last year and I think of how much I want them to be in my life for as long as possible. I'm not ready to lose either of them or lose time and experiences that we could share. It's a bugger getting older, especially when things like this slide (or is it genetic?). I think that it hit me that my dad probably won't be able to go on any more roller coaster rides with us. And up until last year when my grandma had blood clots discovered, she was still going on roller coaster rides too… 

And not that roller coaster rides are really that important, but it's more of the things in life that come along with not being able to get on one that is scary…

Off to snack on a Honey Crisp Apple…

I heard they are delicious!